This morning I took a look at my garden and it is looking beautiful. The salvias, nanas, hostas and peonies are all looking so vibrant and colorful. They look like they have been loved. And as a result of that, they are sharing that love in the form of their vibrancy and grandeur with not just me, but with anyone who passes by to see.
However, this wasn’t the case last year. Last year they bloomed late and died early. They grew to only half their size the entire season that they are now at just at the beginning of the season. How did that happen? Well, this year, I took care of them.
I took care of them when they were at their lowest. When they looked dead, withered and all gone. Like they had nothing left in them. I tended to them, cleared and cleaned the earth around them and created space for them to grow when it was their time. And this spring when their time came, oh my goodness, my heart skipped a beat.
Allow me to let you in on a personal story. The townhome we live in right now is a rental. We moved here three years ago from a palatial home in Western Loudoun County that was on 3 acres of land. Even though we had 3 acres of land we barely had the money to have the many gardens I had envisioned for the property. One landscape designer gave us a $200,000 budget for all the ideas I had for the front, back and both side yards. Yeah, right.
Long story short, with the economic downturn between ’06 and ’08 I lost my then high paying job, we lost all our retirement trying to keep up with the mortgage payments and we eventually lost our house. It was our first home, the one we built, the one our 3 daughters were born in. I remember Ananya , our oldest, was only 40 days old when we moved into the house on Dec 21, 2004.
It was an extremely emotional and traumatic time for my husband and I. And even though we couldn’t really discuss it with our children who were then just 4, 3 and newborn, I am sure they energetically felt our pain, regret, sadness and overall sense of failure.
And now flash forward to we finally find a rental home with a landlord who is a God sent, we couldn’t have asked for someone nicer. This was after being rejected a few times for our less than acceptable credit report.
We are now in this townhome, having majorly downsized or rather right-sized. We are getting adjusted to being in a townhome versus a colonial single family on 3 acres. We are having to make sure we get the parking spot in the front of our house since the garage is too small to bring our car in, a problem we never had to consider for the 6 years.
Even though we had been physically “living” in our new home, there was still a gap in our embrace of this new space in our life and we were just getting by. Life moved on, the children made many new friends and so did we. We now are surrounded by wonderful neighbors that help and support us in times of those last minute pick ups from the bus stop or for a teaspoon of baking soda when half way through mixing cake batter and realize I am missing a key ingredient!
The days turned into weeks and weeks into months and years. And now three years later we find ourselves not just living here now, but loving here, loving now! Just like my garden, when I chose to turn to that within me that was holding me back, that I thought was pain, sadness, regret and my sense of failure, and I paid close attention, tended to myself, cared for myself, cleaned, cleared and created space, not only has my own life started to show up, but it has even made a difference to my physical space, my lovely little 10 ft by 10 ft garden. It may not be 3 acres, but it’s the prettiest little garden I have ever had in my life!
I am grateful for the lessons life has taught me…..
What I love grows with love….
Whereever my energy goes that grows….
I give myself permission to clean, clear and create space so that my life can show up…..
I am a beautiful woman filled with possibilities just like the flowers in my garden…
How are you willing to create space and possibilities for your life to show up for you?
Are you directing your energy towards things that create more anxiety and stress in your life?
What would it take for you to only choose to be around people that gave you the space to be the loving being that you are?
Far too many people spend time at a job they hate, in a relationship that’s making them miserable, holding on to a past that keeps them in their story making it impossible to live life powerfully. Are you one of those people? Are you or is anyone in your life stuck in this pattern?
This pattern can be broken, healed and each and every one of us can realize what it means to live fully and in our power. I can attest to this thanks to the myriad of experinces I have had personally as well as having supported my clients and students over the years. They have been some of my biggest teachers.
Take a few moments to reflect on these questions and comment on the blog. Your insights could help another reader, so don’t hold back, share the love. Tell us what you think? What were you present to when you read this article? I can’t tell you how honored I am that you spent the time reading this and giving me this sacred space to share with you. You make a difference in this world, always remember that! Now don’t hold back, speak your truth! The Universe is listening…..!