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Forgiveness: Let’s Start at the Very Ending…a Very Good Place to Start


If you know movies, especially musicals, the popular Julie Andrews classic “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music, opens with the lines, “Let’s start at the very beginning…a very good place to start…”! As I rummage through the laundry, looking for single socks that magically disappear, something occurs to me – what if we start at the very ending? Or perhaps, consider, the ending?

I am changing things up on the blog. Today, I have an exercise for you. While reading this blog will help, doing an exercise will take it deeper and further, and I hope that you will go there with me. Grab a piece of paper and a pencil to jot down notes if you need to.

Here you go:

Step 1:

For a moment, pause to think of how you want to feel at the end of your days, what comes up for you? Where will you be? What will you be doing? Wearing? Who will be around you? What do those relationships look like, feel like? What is the expression on your face, 20, 30 or 40 years from now?

(Take your time, don’t rush it, but also, don’t overthink and analyze it. Fine line!)

Step 2:

Now pause for a moment to think about how you feel today. What comes up? Where are you? What are you doing, wearing? Who is around you? What is the expression on your face? Sadness, happiness, worry, anxiety, joy, bliss, peace? What are the relationships in your life currently? What feeling comes up for you when you think about these relationships?

This exercise is simply to pause and reflect for a few moments to notice the areas of contrast in your life. What parts of life do you find there are stark contrasts? What parts of your life is there more ease and flow? Do you feel a sense of alignment with what you know to be the way you would like your life to blossom and bloom?

Remember, contrast brings clarity, so this mini-meditation and pause exercise will help bring you clarity and is not meant to bog you down with disappointment and feelings of not being, doing or having “enough”!

Step 3:

Now pause for a moment and write down, and also draw, use coloring pens or pencils, lots of different ones! Research has shown that writing and coloring with a variety of colors enhance brain activity and creativity. Simply start transferring what your mind is seeing without analyzing and editing. Allow it and notice what happens.

Share your observations with me in the comments section below, or send me an email to

This pause exercise is our life’s ‘work in progress’. The goal is to become aware and awakened, to have clarity with the contrasts in our lives, and keep coming back, again and again to alignment, to love and to forgiveness.

If you find that forgiveness is a recurring theme in my blog, it is because it is the theme of my life and what I stand for. I am not saying that I am perfect, but I know that I want to learn to be more forgiving every day.

When I start at the very ‘ending’ of my life and when all has been said and done, I like to believe that I will leave my physical form having totally and unconditionally forgiven all people, events and things in my life. I wish to forgive now because tomorrow is not known. And the future that blooms tomorrow is taking root right now. To have a forgiven future I must forgive today and forgive now.

In my podcast I have been discussing my memoir “Coming Home to the Heart” and one of the topics I had in mind made me think of this very idea of beginning at the end! Even the book ends with probably a couple of the most important pieces for me. A letter from my father, and a letter from me to my daughters.

The end is actually the beginning. Or rather, a new beginning, a new way to begin.

After all these years the biggest contrast that helped me find clarity was that forgiveness, as much as we would like to believe, is not merely about letting someone else “off the hook”! The impact of forgiving runs deep, not just for the other, but most profoundly and deeply for the self.

On my podcast, I shared the ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness called Ho’oponopono. When you forgive yourself, all is forgiven, everyone is forgiven. When you start with the end in mind, forgiveness is not only needed but is inevitable. And you start with yourself.

Think about what we leave behind when there is unforgiveness, and what the potential of a legacy of forgiveness might look like? Write it out. Draw it out. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line in the middle. In one column write down what you are unwilling to forgive and what that is causing in your life. In the other column write out what it would look like if you did forgive.

Look at the cost of unforgiveness. Do you notice a pattern? If you study your own life and areas of unforgiveness you might find a cyclical spiral of spite, sickness, and cynicism. Our thoughts are the root cause of our diseases and imbalances.

So, once again, what do you want the end to look like? You have the power to write your own ending. Will you let your past dictate your future? Are you going to take the reins of the chariot of your life and steer it in the direction of your divine desires and destiny? When is it going to be the right time, the exact moment in time when you will awaken to the inner giant of love, peace, and light within you?

I say, now is the time. The time is now. Awake, align and act in the knowing of the greatness that you are, the love giant that you are.


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